


Until You Come Back Home

by shadesofpink



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Family, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, post 7x11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 10:39:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8841382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesofpink/pseuds/shadesofpink
Summary: "She sounded empty, and god if he couldn't relate to that right now. Emptiness was all he had been feeling for the past ninety six hours and fifty two minutes. Overwhelmingly empty."
Ian centric, post 7x11.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in....years, my first on AO3 and first for this show. It's a stand alone for now, although I may be tempted to expand it depending on feedback & inspiration. Please let me know what you think! I'm a little rusty so any feedback is much appreciated.

It had taken him four days to get halfway home. Four days of hitching rides and sleeping where and when he could before he gave up hope and called his sister. Sliding to the floor of the bus terminal, dialing the number, phone attached to its charging cord in the socket he'd fought off a preteen girl with far too much make up on for. He was prepared for screaming, he was prepared for hostility, after all he had ignored her very blatant advice and taken off in the middle of the night. But anger and hostility were not what he was greeted with, it wasn't something he could put his finger on, it was like there was nothing there. Empty. She sounded empty, and god if he couldn't relate to that right now. Emptiness was all he had been feeling for the past ninety six hours and fifty two minutes. Overwhelmingly empty.  
  
She asked where he was. Voice flat. Emotionless.  
  
_"Far."_  
  
She questioned why he wasn't answering her calls. Lips calls, any of their calls.  
  
_"Busy."_  
  
_"When are you coming home?"_  
  
_"Soon"_  
  
_"Monica is dead."_  
  
_"What."_  
  
_"You heard me._ "  
  
Silence.  
  
_"Ian."_  
  
_"I'm here."_  
  
_"You okay?"_  
  
_"Great."_  
  
_"Listen I know..."_  
  
_"I'm fine. Can you buy me a bus ticket home."_  
  
_"Where are you?"_  
  
_"Springfield, Missouri."_  
  
_"Jesus Ian. I'll call pay them over the phone, text you with the details?"_  
  
_"Thank you."_  
  
_"Of course."_  
  
The line went dead.  
  
Ian took a deep breath tipping his head back against the cold marble wall behind him. His mother was dead. And he felt nothing. Everyone would expect him to feel something, he was always the one who was most like her, or so they said. He never really saw it. Okay maybe he did, but he wasn't Monica, he never was. He may have inherited a few of her traits but that didn't make them the same person. The fact that he was here right now, that he was able to turn around. That's the least Monica thing he'd ever done. But he needed to. He couldn't keep running, he needed to grow up. He had his shit together dammit.  
  
Leaving in the first place was a mistake, he feared he had done more damage by leaving than he would have done turning down the offer. And he had - he knew he had. But he was going to fix it, he had to fix it. Because that's who he is now, that's who he had worked so hard to become. He couldn't give up on his life that easily.  
  
He couldn't give Mickey up that easily either though.  
  
The decision to pick his life on the South Side with his fucked up family over a new start in Mexico with the love of his life, it had crushed him, it _was_ crushing him. He had loved Mickey, he _still_ loves Mickey. But you can't love someone until you learn to love yourself....that's what they say right? And Ian? Ian is on the way, he's getting there day by day and he's finally becoming okay with who he is, with his mental disorder, with his sexuality, with being a Gallagher. That's who he is, and he's finally embracing all of those things, he's accepting them....being a fugitive? That's not something he'd be able to handle as quickly. That would take some adjustment. It could fuck the rest of it all up for him. He didn't want that. He didn't. But that doesn't mean he didn't still want Mickey. Because he did. _Fuck it he did_. But It was too much, too complicated, too dramatic. Sure a year ago those things would've been exciting to Ian, but now, now it all seems too much. It was selfish Ian knew it was selfish, Mickey loved him, he needed him, but he left him. He let him go. But he had to right? Its for the best. That's what he told himself. That's what he kept telling himself.  
  
His phone buzzed in his hand with an incoming text pulling him out of his own head.  
  
      **Fiona:** _Bus ticket purchased, just show them ID at the counter, bus leaves in an hour._  
      **Fiona:** _And you owe me $110, asshole._  
  
He punched out a quick thanks, unplugged his charger and pushed himself up off of the floor, he grabbed his bag and threw it over his shoulder as he started towards the ticket counter.  
  
He arrived home close to midnight, quietly hoping no one was around so he could slide up to his room undetected. Of course that wouldn't be the case, he lived in the Gallagher house, there was always someone around. What he wasn't expecting as he slipped through the kitchen door was to be greeted by all of his siblings and his father drunk off their asses in the family room, singing at the top of their lungs. It took them a second to notice him in the doorway looking over the family room. Debbie was the first to spot him walking over to hug him, he kissed the top of her head before franny started to fuss, the two of them sharing a knowing look as she headed back towards her daughter. Lip was the next to acknowledge him brushing past him as he headed into the kitchen to grab another beer, the last time Ian had seen him they had fought, but that all seemed to be forgotten, Lip grabbing his shoulder as he joined Ian in the doorway, beer bottle in hand.  
  
_"Sure you should be drinking that?"_ Ian smirked, knowing his brothers response.

  
_"Fuck you"_

  
_"Just saying..."_

  
_"Yeah...yeah I know, it's non alcoholic okay asshole, just don't tell Frank"_ They both laughed, knowing their father well enough to not question it as Fiona finally made eye contact.

  
_"Ian. You're home!"_ Fiona jumped up from her place in the arm chair climbing over Carl and Liam to wrap her arms around her brothers neck. _"Where have you been asshole, don't do that to us!!!"_ she said sternly but her voice full of relief and giving her away, glad her brother was home at last.

  
_"I'm sorry, I just had some things to take care of..."_ Ian trailed off as he headed to grab a beer of his own, he was probably going to need it. He twisted off the cap throwing it towards the counter as he and his two older siblings found themselves congregating at the kitchen table.

  
_"Mickey things..."_ Lip asked knowing full well that's what had happened, Ian knew it was his way of trying to get him to talk.

  
Ian looked up from tearing at the label of his bottle, both sets of eyes on him. He knew he wouldn't get out of this conversation.

  
_"Yes Mickey things."_ Both of their expressions furrowed. They loved Mickey, they knew how much good he did for Ian when he was going through everything, Ian probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Mickey, but right now Mickey was an escaped felon on the run and Ian couldn't get dragged into that, it would've destroyed him. _"Look i'm here, I'm home, I'm okay, I am, you guys don't need to be worried about me... I truly just, I don't want to talk about it right now...but I promise I will talk to you, just...when i'm ready okay?"_

  
_"Sure bud, we're here for you okay, don't shut us out"_ Lip stood pulling Ian into a hug _"Glad you're home lil bro"_

  
_"Thanks, glad to be home"_

  
_"Ian, come here..."_ Fiona grabbed his arm and pulled him in for a hug of her own. _"I love you kid, you know that?"_ Ian nodded kissing his sister on the cheek before pulling away.

  
_"You gonna join our party?....it's a sort of celebration of life? and... I guess death?"_ Fiona fought back a laugh.

  
_"Morbid"_ Ian chuckled, his eyes glowing, a genuine smile on his face.

  
" _Yeah, but don't tell me it isn't exactly what Monica would've wanted for herself"_

  
" _You're not wrong"_ Ian smiled, truly happy for the first time in almost a week. _"Alright i'm in"_

Fiona cranked up the stereo and the family danced around together commemorating their loss (or losses in Ian's case) in a way only they knew how.

  
It was nights like these that Ian knew he was going to be okay, that he knew his family would always have his back, because that's what they do, that's who they are. They fight through the bullshit, and the disagreements, they fight through the alcoholism, and the teen pregnancies, they fight through trips to jail and the bi-polar disorder and most of all they fight through the heart break. They do it together, They do it with their heads held high. They're stronger because of it.  
  
**_They're Gallaghers._**


End file.
